Excuses, excuses

A fellow bought a new Mercedes and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair, and he decided to open her up.

As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him. "There's no way they can catch a Mercedes," he thought to himself and opened her up further.

The needle hit 90, 100... Then the reality of the situation hit him. "What am I doing?" he thought, and pulled over.

The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car. "It's been a long day, this is the end of my shift and it's Friday the 13th. I don't feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go."

The guy thinks for a second and says, "Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back!"

"Have a nice weekend," said the officer.

Onam Special -- By Chanchal

ENNEKONDU ITHRAYOKKE PATTOOO....
VENEMENGIL EDUTHU ADICHITTU PODE............

Londan Dairy- By Alamban

Vedikettu Exclusive: Charle's Love Letter (Unpublished)

Am having very BAD Childhood!!!

Hi Friends,

We talked with Rahul. He blamed us that we are not binoj or chanchel so he can't accept us. Actually chanchel already joined with us. And we invited alamban to this project, But we are not sure about him. He may busy with his job. Rahul told us that we are trying to sell the bad stuff because we experianced a very bad child hood!!! You are correct rahul. our childhood was horrible. We went through miserable collegedays too..

These are some of the toys we used to play in my KG
















Thanks,

Vedikettu

Dare to Dream!! INR Re. 1 = US$ 100

What happens If INR 1 Rs = USD $ 100

Year : 2050

Place : IBM , USA
(Two Americans Talking)

Currency Conversion Rate : INR 1 Rs = USD $ 100

Alex: Hi John, you didn't come yesterday to office?

John: Yeah, I was in Indian Embassy for stamping.

Alex: Oh really, what happened, I heard that nowadays it
has become very strict.

John: Yeah, but I managed to get it.

Alex: How long it took to get it stamped?

John: Oh, it was nasty man, long queue. Bill Gates was
standing in front of me and they played with him like
anything. That's why it got delayed. I went there at 2
AM itself and waited and returned by 4 PM .

Alex: Really? In India , it is a matter of an hour to get
stamped for USA

John: Yeah, but that is because who in India will be
interested in coming to USA man, their economy has been
booming.

Alex: So, when are you leaving?

John: Anytime, after receiving my tickets from the client
in India and you know, I will be getting a chance to fly
Air-India. Sort of dream come true.

Alex: How long are you going to stay in India .

John: What do you mean by how long? I will be settled in
India , my company has promised me that they will process my
Hara Patta .. (green card)

Alex: Really, lucky person man, it is very difficult to get
a Hara Patta in India .

John: Yeah, that's why, I am planning to marry an
Indian girl there.

Alex: But you can find lots of US girls in Hyderabad ,
Bangalore and Mumbai..

John: But, I prefer Indian girls because they are beautiful
and cultured.

Alex: Where did you get the offer, Hyderabad?

John: Yeah, salary is good there, but cost of living is
quite high, it is Rs. 2000/- for a single room
accommodation.

Alex: I see, that's too much for US people, Rs.1/-
=$100/-. Oh God! What about in Bangalore, Mumbai?

John: No idea, but it is less than what we have in
Hyderabad. It is like the world headquarters of software

Alex: I heard, almost all the Indians are having one
personal Robot for help.

John: You can get a BMW car for Rs. 5000/-, and a personal
Robot for less than Rs.7500/-. But my dream is to purchase
Ambassador, which costs Rs.2 ,00,000/- but has got a lovely
design.

Alex: By the way, who is your client?

John: Subbarao and Apparao Associates, a pure Indian
company, specialising in Embedded Software.

Alex: Oh, really, lucky to work in a pure Indian company.
They are really intelligent and unlike American Bodyshoppers
who have opened their Fly-by-night outfits in India . Indian
companies pay you in full even when you are on bench.

My friend Paul Allen, it seems, used his bench time to
visit Bihar, the most liveable place in India , probably
world. There you have full freedom and no restrictions. You
can do whatever you want! I wonder how that state has
perfected that system.

John: Yeah man!, you are right. I hope our Americaalso
follows their footsteps.

Alex: How are you going to cope with their language?

John: Why not? From my school days I have been learning
Hindi as my first language here at New York . At the
Consulate they tested my proficiency in Hindi and were quite
impressed by my cent per cent score in TOHIL I.e. Test of
Hindi as International Language.

Alex: So, you are going to have fun there.

John: Yeah, I will be travelling in the world's fastest
train, world's largest theme park, and the famous
Bollywood where you can see actors like, Hrithik, Shah Rukh
Khan and all. Esselworld is also near Bollywood.

Alex: You know, the PM is scheduled to visit US next year,
he may then relax the number of visas.

John: That's true. Last month, Narayana Murthy visited
White House and donated Rs. 2000/- for infrastructure
development at aSiliconValleyand has promised more if we
follow the model of High-Tech City of Bangalore . Bill Gates
also got a chance of meeting him. Very lucky person.

Alex: But, Indian government is planning to split
Narayanamurthy's Infosys.

John: He is a hard worker man, he can build any number of
Infosys like this.. Every minute he is getting Rs. 1000/-.
It seems, if you keep all his money converted as Rs. 100/-
notes you can reach Pluto.

Alex: OK, Good Luck John.

John: Same to you Alex. And don't go to Consulate in a
"Kurta Pyjama" because they will think you are too
Indianised and may doubt you will never come back and hence
your Non-Immigrant Visa may get rejected. But don't
forget to say " Namaste, aap kaise hai " to the
Visa officer at Window 5. It seems he likes that and will
not give you a visa if you don't greet him that way..

Best Interview

Interviewer: Tell me about yourself.

Candidate: I am Rameshwar Kulkarni. I did my Tele Communication

engineering from BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology.

Interviewer: BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology? I had

never heard of this college before!

Candidate: Great! Even I had not heard of it before getting an

admission into it ..

What happened is - due to cricket world cup I scored badly! in

12th.I was getting a paid seat in a good college.

But my father said (I prefer to call him 'baap') - "I can not

invest so much of money".(The baap actually said - "I

will never waste so much of money on you"). So I had to join this

college. Frankly speaking this name - BabanRao Dhole-Patil, can at the most be

related to a Shetakari Mahavidyalaya.
Interviewer: ok, ok. It seems you have taken 6 years to complete

your engineering.

Candidate: Actually I tried my best to finish it in 4 years.. But

you know, these cricket matches and football

world cup, and tennis tournaments. It is difficult to concentrate.

So I flunked in 2nd and 3rd year. So in all I took

4 + 2 = 7 years.

Interviewer: But 4+2 is 6.

Candidate: Oh, is it? You know I always had KT in maths. But I

will try to keep this in mind. 4+2 is 6, good,

thanks. These cricket matches really affect exams a lot. I think

they should ban it.

Interviewer: Good to know that you want cricket matches to be

banned.

Candidate: No, no... I am talking about Exams!!

Interviewer: Ok, What is your biggest achievement in life?

Candidate: Obviously, completing my Engineering. My mom never

thought I would complete it. In fact, when i

flunked in 3rd year, she was looking for a job for me in BEST (Bus

corporation in Maharashtra) through some relative.

Interviewer: Do you have any plans of higher study?



Candidate: he he he.. Are you kidding? Completing 'lower'

education itself was so much of pain!!

Interviewer: Let's talk about technical stuff. On which platforms

have you worked?

Candidate: Well, I work at SEEPZ, so you can say Andheri is my

current platform. Earlier I was at Vashi center. So Vashi was my
platform

then. As you can see I have

experience of different platforms! (Vashi and Andheri are the places in

Mumbai)

Interviewer: And which languages have you used?

Candidate: Marathi, Hindi, English. By the way, I can keep quiet

in German, French, Russian and many other languages.

Interviewer: Why VC is better than VB?

Candidate: It is a common sense - C comes after B. So VC is a

higher version than VB. I heard very soon they

are coming up with a new language VD!

Interviewer: Do you know anything about Assembly Language?

Candidate: Well, I have not heard of it. But I guess, this is the

language our ministers and MPs use in assembly.

Interviewer: What is your general project experience?

Candidate: My general experience about projects is - most of th! e

times they are in pipeline!

Interviewer: Can you tell me about your current job?

Candidate: Sure, Currently I am working for Bata InfoTech ltd.

Since joining BIL, I am on Bench. Before joining

BIL, I used to think that Bench was another software like Windows.

Interviewer: Do you have any project management experience?

Candidate: No, but I guess it shouldn't be difficult. I know

Word and Excel. I can talk a lot. I know how to

dial for International phone call and use speaker facility. And

very important - I know few words like -

'Showstoppers ' , 'hotfixes',

'SEI-CMM','quality','versioncontrol','deadlines' , 'Customer

Satisfaction' etc. Also I can blame others for my mistakes!

Interviewer: What are your expectations from our company?

Candidate: Not much.

1. I should at least get 40,000 in hand.

2. I would like to work on a live EJB project. But it should not

have deadlines. I personally feel that pressure affects natural talent.

3. I believe in flexi-timings.

4. Dress code is against basic freedom, so I would like to wear

t-shirt and jeans.

5. We must have sat-sun off. I will suggest Wednesday off also, so

as to avoid breakdown due to overwork.

6. I would like to go abroad 3 times a year on short term

preferably 1-2 months) assignments. Personally I prefer

US, Australia and Europe. As you can see I am modest and don't

have many expectations. So can I assume my selection?


Interviewer: he he he ha ha ha. Thanks for your interest in our

organization. In fact I was never entertained so much before. Welcome to


The fellow was appointed in a newly created section 'Stress Management'
in the HRD

Who is the BEST - Infosys, Wipro or TCS?

One day, three consultants, one from Wipro, one from Infosys and one from TCS, went out for a walk.

Why don't we prove who is the best among ourselves?
Why not, said the other two.

The Infosian said "Let's have a test. Whoever makes this monkey laugh, works for the best firm.

Being a pure logical strategist, the person from TCS tried to make the monkey Laugh by telling jokes. The monkey stayed still. As a more practical consultant, the Wipro guy tried to make funny
gestures... No good, the monkey stayed put...

Now, comes the Infosian. Being the practical guy he was always trained to be, he whispered something into the monkey's ear, and it burst out laughing at him..

The other two were astonished. So the Wipro guy said "OK, let's take
another test. Let's make this monkey cry!!

So there they went again, applying the same methods as before. The TCS guy narrated sad stories, the Wipro guy made sad gestures, and they failed again...

Then, the Infosian again whispered something into the monkey's ear and oh! It started crying, patting the Infosian's shoulder!


The other two just could not believe their eyes! So the tcs guy said
"OK, you've won twice. If you can win just this one, we will bow to
you. Let's make this monkey run". And he barked at the monkey and ordered him to run. Of course, it stayed where it was.. The Wipro guy, true to his type, pushed and prodded the monkey- still No go.

So...here comes Infosian, again, and whispers into the monkey's ear. The Monkey just takes off! It runs and runs as fast as it can, as if it was scared to death!

The other two surrendered.

They Said: "OK, we give up.

You're the best among us, and you work for the Best firm of the three. But please, please tell us your secret," they begged him.
"Well", said the Infosian , "The first time I made it laugh, I told I
work for Infosys . The next time, I told the monkey how much I get paid ...so it started crying.

And then I told that I was here for recruitment !!!

The Perfect Husband...

Several men are in the changing room of a golf club. A
mobile phone on abench rings and a man engages the hands free
speaker-function and began to talk.

Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello"

WOMAN: "Darling, it's me. Are you at the
club?"

MAN: "Yes"

WOMAN: "I am at the shopping centre and found this beautiful leather
coat. It's only Rs.1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"

MAN: "Sure,..go ahead if you like it that much."

WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2005
models. I saw one I really liked."

MAN: "How much?"

WOMAN: "Rs7,00,000"

MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing ... The house I wanted last year
is back on the market. They're asking Rs.11,50,000"

MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of 11,00,000. They will probably take it.
If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand. It really is a pretty good price."

WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so
much!!"


MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."


The man hangs up. The other men in the changing room are
staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape.....


He smiles and asks:








Anyone knows who this mobile belongs to?"

Why am still Bachelor ?

Good morning friends,

Once I asked Friend, 'What is the secret behind your happy married life?'

Friend said, 'You should share responsibilities with due love and respect to each other. Then absolutely there will be no problems.'

I asked, 'Can you explain?'

Friend said, 'In my house, I take decisions on bigger issues where as my wife decides on smaller issues. We do not interfere in each other's decisions.'

Still not convinced, I asked Friend 'Give me some examples'

Friend said,' Smaller issues like which car we should buy, how much amount to save, when to visit home town, which Sofa, air conditioner, refrigerator to buy, monthly expenses, whether to keep a maid or not etc are decided by my wife. I just agree to it'

I asked, 'Then what is your role?'

Friend said,' My decisions are only for very big issues. Like whether America should attack Iran, whether Britain should lift sanction over Zimbabwe, whether to widen African economy, whether Sachin Tendulkar should retire etc etc. Do you know one thing, my wife NEVER objects to Any of these'.

Thirounthoram Full Dictionary

A
Adi : Sporty _Expression
Adii Sekkkae : Expressive Comment for a Beautiful Gal
Aiyyam : Not Good
Akkan : Elder Sister
Alambu Payalu : Mischievous Guy
Alavalaathi : Useless
Alimpu, Alumpu : Mess Up
Aliyan : Buddy
Alli : Pidichu
Ammachiyaane : Mother Promise
Annaakki Thannu : Cheated
Annack Vare : Deep in Throat
Annan Konni : Real Useless
Appi : Small Baby, Faeces
Arumbaatham : Finish, Samadhaanam
Asokan : Gay
Azhukka : Bad
B
Baiju : Old Man
Balraaram : Balaramapuram
Bonji Vellam : Lime Juice
Borotta : Porotta
Braal : Cat Fish
C
Chaala : Maththi
Charakakukalu : Beautiful Gals
Cheelu : Silly
Chella : Dear, A Nice Boy or a Girl
Chemala : Red
Cherayuka : Staring
Chevala : Red
Cheythu Kidathukka : Revenge Completed
Chorri : Irritating
Chwaaru : Rice
Chwara : Blood
D
Daavu : Pretending
Dappi : Small Pot
De Pode Pode : Go Away
E
Entheru : What
Entoodi : With Me, To Me
F
Faagyam : Luck
Faaratham : India
Faarya : Wife

G
Ganja Payalu : Sleepy Guy
Gavanam : Be Concerned
H
I
Idichu Pirithu : Strong Punch
Illoolam : In Small Quantity
Inippu : Sweet
Ithippooram : Little
J
Jaada : Self-Importance
K
Kaa Parakki : Lazy Guy
Kadassi, Kadaseelu : Last, The End
Kailanchi : Knife
Kalippu : Riot
Kanji : Weird
Kannamthiruvukalu : Mischief
Karuvaadu : Dried Fish
Kinnam : Fantastic, Small Plate
Konayadi : Making Fun
Koora : Waste
Koothara : Bad
Koothara Payalu : Ugly Boy
Kundaankadavu : Kundamon Kadavu
Kundani : Mischievous
Kuzhithurumbu : Cunny
L
Levan : He
Londe Lavide : Its Over There
M
Maakri : Frog
Machaa : Dear Friend
Madakku : Meals Parcel
Manja pranthu : Mad
Mini Mol : Old Lady
Moda : Self-Importance
Moonchi : Face, Fooled
Mudukku : Narrow Road (Path), Lane
Muttam, Muttan : Gigantic
N
Niroovichu : Thought
Njerippu : Awesome
Noorey : Straight
O
Odakku : To Quarrel, Block
Orakkam : Sleep
Oyfe : Wife
Oyyirae : On Top
P
Paazhu : Useless, Waste
Pallu Vili : Scolding Using Ugly Words
Panna : Bad
Payalukal : Boys
Payya Thanna : Never
Payye : Slowly
Pazham : Fool
Pele : Police
Pesha : Lungi
Peyyaa : Whether Gone?
Peyyoodaam : Lets Go
Polappu : Amazing
Pukilukalu : Problems
Pushpan : Gay
Puttu : Lies
Q
R
S
Swalpam : Little
T
Thalleay : Expressing Surprise, My God
Thallu : To Give
Thammassikkoola : Won't Allow
Thorappa : Broom
Thirontharam : Thiruvananthapuram
Thwana : Lots Of
Thyaeri : Uphill
U
Ullasangalu : Happiness
Umba : Cow
V
Valichuu : Cheated
Valipeeru : Cheating
Varuthan : Outsider
Vellangalu : Water
Vesarppu : Sweat
Vetti Veethi : Slaughter to Death
Vyali : Veli
W
Woa..Woa : Ok, Done
X
Y
Yaaku : Puke
Yelavu : Weird
Yemandan : Big
Yetthu Vaali Payalu : Parasite in Nature, a person doesn't have much importance
Z

Recruit @ Microsoft !!!!!!!!!!!!

Bill Gates organised an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for Microsoft Europe. 5000 candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is Kunju Abdullah, an Indian guy.

Bill Gates thanked all the candidates for coming and asking those who do not know JAVA program to leave.2000 people leave the room. Kunju says to himself, "I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I'll give it a try"

Bill Gates asked the candidates who never had experience of managing more than 100 people to leave. 2000 people leave the room. Kunju says to himself " I never managed anybody by myself but I have nothing to lose if I stay. What can happen to me?" So he stays.

Then Bill Gates asked candidates who do not have management diplomas to leave. 500 people leave the room. Kunju says to himself, "I left school at 15 but what have I got to lose?" So he stays in the room.

Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serbo - Croat to leave. 498 people leave the room.

Kunju says to himself, " I do not speak one word of Serbo - Croat but what do I have to lose?" So he stays and finds himself with one other candidate. Everyone else has gone.

Bill Gates joined them and said "Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak Serbo - Croat, so I'd now like to hear you have a conversation together in that language."

Calmly, Kunj turns to the other candidate and says "Entha Sugham alle"

The other candidate answers "Nee Poda Pulle"

Planning A Gettogether!!!!!

Hi all,

Thank you Cheenganni sugu!

Atlast you wrote something in this blog. Why Binoj and Rahul is waiting over there?
Come forward with their posts.

We , The Vedikettu invite each and every one of BBA to a GET TOGETHER Party.
When and where is the second thing, First we have to check how many are interested.
Our authorized Co-ordinator MR:Sivakumar can manage this thing.
We officially authorizing Sivettan to CO-ordinate this thing.

We are attaching some snaps of last get together..
please enjoy!!!




Siva, Anticipating an early action from your side...

Thanks,
Vedikettu

What's Happening HERE?@@#@$$#@#$%$%^

Hi friends,

Happy to see u all (?) through this blog. I don't know who is this vedikettu.
Thank you all!!

We wrote so many articles (I don't know who called them ARTICLE!!) in our old news letter and Govind still keep the copies with him..

I talked with Alamban and Rahul about this blog! They are in the gallery to see who is playing behind this . So this is my testing post for checking the click density of visitors of this blog.
Please leave a comment on this post to check who else are watching this!!(I think am the only one in this NOMANSLAND-thanks to Raja)

How to Write On this BLOG!!!

Hi all,

Thank you for your reply, I got only four replys regarding this blog.

Madhu, Chanchel, Zakir , Govind B ....

I know all those classmates are always like dis...

They live in their own shell and don't want to come outside..

Leave them guys... We don't want to  care about those "Front Bench Pancharas" ...

Vedikettu is a newsletter from the BACK BENCHERS for the BACK BENCHERS by the BACK BENCHERS..

Let's share our happiness and joy over here..

Guys interested in writing in this blog please send your email id to vedikettu@ymail.com.

I will add you as authers. 

Let's make a world of BACK BENCHERS who stand always behind...

Let's break the silence of BACK BENCHERS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks,

Vedikettu

Thank u Govind B

Govind said...

hey vedikettu....
govindb here......
posted to 2203 squadron, airforce station sirsa, haryana.....
avedunnu vannu pettannu ......
u will not believe
i still have all the original vedikettu news letter with me...still i go through them....
chanchel.... binoj....wher r u people.....

August 12, 2008 9:34 AM

Hey thanks govind...

Good to hear that you have the old newsletter..

Where are you Guys??

Hi all, 

It's nearly 24 hours after first post in this blog, Nobody replys. Only Madhu and Chanchel responds to this!!

They leave a comment and goes by their own way!!!

Where are you Guys??

Why are you waiting for...

Sivetta.. Come on..

Welcome to those Old Days

Hi all


This is the same old Vedikettu!!!

The same old paper that roamed around our boring(!!!!) classrooms.

Welcome to those memories!!!!

Please add your articles here!!!

Any thing under the sun...

Let's share our joys and happiness through this blog..

"This is not only for the Back Benchers Association " all for the CSE members!!

Where are you guys the old vedikettu team.Govind,Binoj,Sabarish,Rahul,Raja,Madhu,chanchal..??


Please come forward and make this a sucess!!!!